Anyway.. yeah I'm back. I've learned a lot since my hiatus. There's a lot to it but.. In short I learned to love my friends almost to death. I missed them deeply and I learned they did mean a lot to me and I would hate to see them leave my life. That's the gist of it though.. I won't embelish it.
Anyway what's with the title? A lot has happened since I've come back. Almost too much. Though I feel irrelevant, I know I'm not to my friends. I don't know why but since I've come back I feel like I've been lied to and betrayed so much by those I love. I haven't at all been betrayed. I don't know what's causing me to feel this way but it's tearing me apart and my friendships.
I feel irrelevant. No longer important. It brings back memories... when I was still friends with my Old Mate. If you all didn't know I had a crush on her and it ran deep. Everyday I felt useless.. pointless.. used. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now. I know I'm not but still. I can't help what I'm feeling. But.. if there's one thing I learned so far is that times have changed and I must adapt. The path I've been following on.. it's been so beautiful and it helped me so much but its golden days are over.. I have to change to my new environment and destroy my darkest shadows that to this day continue to haunt me.
It's a short post but... I have an exam today so I have to study.
With much love and glad to be back...
And Remembering to Smile..
Nob
It's also a bit disappointing to see that the people I follow have more or less stopped posting on their blogs.
ReplyDeleteI'll get around to it at some point.
ReplyDelete