Anyway on to my life. I'm severely depressed as usual. I'm actually at the point where I pretty much don't want to live anymore. Actually I am at that point. I don't see much point in living anymore. It feels pointless. Everyone's alive for one single fucking reason. Euphoria. Whether that's through fucking eating, caring for others, or maiming them it's always that reason. Euphoria. I'm sick of being addicted to the shit. I don't want to fucking be a part of this shit anymore. This up and down bullshit on the euphoria curve. I don't want to be happy anymore and I don't want to be sad. It's just the same shit over and over. I was thinking at school today, maybe I'll just join the navy or army. Or Canadian air force. I don't know. Something that gets me out there and helps me die or something. I don't believe in Canada but I just don't care anymore whether I'm oppressing others or liberating them. I'm just hoping someone kills me out there so I don't have to come back to this same bullshit routine. At least if I die while on my tour of duty, I'll get a fuckload of dosh and send it back to my family and maybe Crim if she's willing like the stupid unwilling faggot she is. I heard you get $100 000 for actually agreeing to be sent so yay. It'll solve everyones financial problems and I don't have to be a part of this life anymore and I don't have to be remembered as a failure.
Everyone wins.
Remember to smile,
Nob
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