Sunday, 9 October 2011

So. Hey Again. I lied.

Smile with me will you? Awhile back I contacted my old mate for the name of a visual novel because I was overdosing on some chemical. Two things:

1)I got my visual novel name so I'm happy about that.
2)She hasn't moved on and her life isn't so great apparently.

Huh. Funny. If anything I thought she would've moved on quicker than me. She's exposed to a lot more bad shit than me so you'd figure she would deal with me leaving juuuust fine. Guess not. While I'm betting her life being shitty is more or less not the result of me leaving, I can't help but rejoice a little. Makes me feel important I suppose. Sure it's in an assholeish way but you know. Can't help what I feel.

Personally I have more or less moved on if you catch my drift. In one sense I'm happy being alone. No one to bother me and I have no one to bother. I'm use to that and it's comforting. In another sense I yearn for a group or at least someone I can relate to (IN REAL LIFE). And another part of that is whenever I tried to hit on other girls because "What the fuck right?", I always seemed to measure them on the OldMate Scale. So I think that tells you how much I moved on. Because I don't really know how much it says. I don't really know what my measurements are. How well I got along with them or how similar they are to her? You tell me because fuck if I know.

I probably should've listened to all the advice I received. "Don't contact her, it's over.", "You have to move on and just never contact her again.", "Don't apologize for that bs you pulled when you last saw her ("I'll probably never see you again.")" but know what? I'm an idiot. 'Sides, all my life as the youngest of three I learned by watching other people make mistakes. Never really made my own so WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?

Anyway on brighter news from the depressed-o-station, I'm figuring out hard math problems. Fun.

Remember to smile now.

-Nob.

No comments:

Post a Comment